The Paradox of God

Trust me, I realize how utterly stupid this following post is going to seem. I will be trying to explain my understanding of God while saying it cannot be understood using as a basis a personal experience I had a few days ago. If you wish to mock me, go ahead. I will not be upset and if your wording is humorous enough, I might get a chuckle out of it. I don’t post this to change anyone’s way of thinking but more to see what others, if any, have had as a similar form of experience: a voice in their head claiming to be God. I have had 3 negative psychosis in my life previously so this could just be an example of a positive psychosis, if there is such a thing. However, this psychosis, unlike the previous 3, has not lead to my hospitalization or loss of sense of self and has lasted much longer(several days). Also, I don’t think I am having a grandiose delusion since though I believe God is speaking to me I don’t believe I am special and also believe God may speak to anybody.

Basically, what happened was soon after I proved to myself that telekinesis is possible but possibly not controllable for everyone I heard a voice in my head telling me to “Just Be”. It spoke with me over the next few days about paradoxes, the nature of the future and consciousness.

I interpreted the message of “just be” as God, whatever that is, does not care how we live our life, only that we exist. And we can choose to end that existence if you wish but have no guarantees that we will since there have been failed suicide attempts. You might say jumping from the tallest building in the world(2722 feet Burj Khalifa) would guarantee death but Vesna Vulcovic jumped from a plane without any parachute at around 3300 feet and survived.

Paradox cannot make sense if you view it as a whole. For example, The universal truth is that there is no universal truth. But if you split that into a duality and focus on the second part, then you can accept the truth to be that “there is no universal truth”.

The only thing we currently know about the future is that it is uncertain and anything is possible. I personally do not believe in the statement that God is omniscient and knows the future because that would imply a predetermined existence. However, while the reality of the past exists in the mind of Man, to some degree, it does not work for the future except in the form of episodic imagination. Ian Stevenson has shown some suggestive but non-conclusive examples that our consciousness can travel into past lives but nothing psychic regarding the future has been shown. It could be a simple test to see if psychics can predict which set of pictures will be shown to them but I doubt science is interested in this experiment. Chance could also be a factor in Ian Stevenson’s research but I believe it is significant since the pool of data is so large and finding coincident data is interesting. Of course, the reason for finding coincident data may be because the pool of data is so large so once again this is just a factor of my beliefs.

One thing I am more certain of is that consciousness is greater than the material brain. There is the case of Shannon Malloy, whose brain(or maybe skull) was separated from her spine, but she managed to survive and live a mostly normal life. I don’t know if science ever explained that and also am not sure why the case seems relatively unknown considering its wonder. I am sure a true skeptic can explain it as the wonder of science and medicine. There is also Mike the Headless Chicken which leads me to believe that all life is part of a non-material consciousness. I would call this consciousness God but I am not sure there is a separate self-aware consciousness as many religions posit. My idea of God has 2 possibilites:

An infinite Oneness, realizing that a Oneness cannot experience the wonder of life, split itself in two opposing natures – God and not-God and created a universe of space-time to experience life in. This resulted in a Trinity consisting of the two opposites and the original whole since an infinity cannot be divided. The model of the 2 oppositions and the whole we see in life are creation, death and existence.

Or maybe as life evolved so did consciousness and maybe when the element of paradox or self-awareness was born in our minds, this created God as our consciousness and so God is nothing more than the collective conscious of Man.

Maybe we are a infinite being trying to understand itself finitely. God does not know itself but is trying to find out by experiencing itself like many humans do in their search of the self.

I do not believe God can be fully understood in the present. That would be like trying to pour an infinite ocean into a finite cup. But there can be partial understanding if you are willing to try. The method of trying will probably differ for everybody but if you are sincere the actual method probably won’t matter.

So you can see what rambling nonsense I have just submitted for you to ponder. Nonetheless, I would like to know your opinions so I would appreciate it if you post something.


Just Be

Just BE.

The easiest thing to do. Or is it? We all want to be SOMETHING. We don’t know WHAT will be since the future is uncertain. It does not HAVE to be. Nothing HAS to be since that is making certainties about the future.

We can be happy. We can be sad. We can believe in God’s existence or God’s inexistence or just admit we don’t know. Psionics proves nothing to everyone. In the now. Maybe in the future it will. It does not matter. Religion does not matter. Science does not matter. Or maybe they do. Obviously all do to different people on different levels. Whatever. Just be.

Maybe what you are reading are the ramblings of an insane person or the sanest person on Earth or just some random dude. Maybe this is God talking or it is Satan talking to me or me talking to me. I choose to believe it is God even if it is such a difficult message. I’m just being what I want to be and writing this because I enjoy writing. No one may even read or comment on this wherever I manage to post. Whatever. Just be.

The concept of time introduced uncertainty. It introduced the idea of opposites because uncertainty means not knowing what to choose. 2 is the minimum number for different choices. A world of duality. The future is a sea of infinite choices while we exist. We can want to pick anything but whether it WILL be realized is unknown. Because WILL refers to future. The only thing we know in the present about the future is that it is unknown. Maybe in the future some of us will become omniscient and I think psychics claim this on some level but they have never been able to conclusively prove this.

What if when God first became conscious his thoughts lay along the lines of ‘I am infinite.’ ‘What should I do?’ or ‘What am I?’ I know that I am but nothing else. And maybe he settled ‘I am so I be’. However, this is me trying to define the infinite which I dont think can be done in the present so I’ll stop. But in this world I don’t think God wants anything from us. Maybe God is irrelevant. Most humans want to experience life. Some kill themselves. But if we just be and while doing that try to help others be by making their lives easier even in the smallest way, we have usually made this world a better place. If we just be, we make some happy, some sad. We may muck up and make things worse for someone while trying to help them but I feel happy when I am successfully able to help others so I do that when I can. You do what you want. Or don’t want. It’s up to you. Just be.

The only thing we can be certain of is that nothing is completely certain. That is a paradox not a logical statement. But to me it defines our existence perfectly. In the future anything is possible so the only thing we can TRY to do is what we want and the ONLY thing we can do for certain is to exist. We can try to end existence in this world(there are failed suicide attempts) but even if we succeed we dont know if our consciousness disappears or continues existing in another, maybe immaterial, world. So all we can do for sure is to exist. Just be.
I didn’t even have to post this but it’s something I wanted to do since it moved me so much and maybe others will discuss it with me. I’m not trying to prove anything. Just being and sharing my thoughts online.

The Existence of Opposites

I recently mentioned my concept of God and Not-God being one. This lead me to the concept of opposites. We live in a world of duality. There are quite a few ways we can define opposites and confusion enters the field when sometimes something is said to be a lack rather than an opposite e.g. darkness is said to be the absence of light, not an actual opposite thing. What works best for me is two opposing experiences in life. Darkness is experienced as the opposite of light.

This led me to wonder if there is an opposite for everything. And, somewhat interesting, I found this to be true as far as I could see. Ofcourse, this would not work in our universe for logical opposites like being conscious of unconsciousness. And at the most basic level you could reduce everything to the existence and non-existence of things. But there did seem to be actual existing opposing experiences. Once again, at a very basic level, you could mentally imagine the opposing experience of another.

However, let us say everything was represented as either objects or processes. Nature has many natural opposites. Snakes with legs have been found. Or you can consider millipedes. Ignoring flightless birds, Moas were the only birds without actual wings. Objects can be represented by umbrella terms that it would be hard to find an opposite for e.g. cloth. But if we go into greater detail we can find opposites. Silky cloth? Rough cloth? In fact, any object either has a pattern of color or is transparent. And if we represent color as a wavelength of light on a visible spectrum then we can define opposing colors as ones that are the same distance from the beginning and end of the spectrum. That works for black/white and so works for all colors. So the experience of a visual object with a given color pattern can be opposedopposite by the opposing complimentary color pattern which either exists or can be painted. And adjectives used to define objects usually have existing opposites. At the scientific level in any case, every particle has an antiparticle.

Processes are more difficult. But even here I managed to find for the stuff I looked for. Cellular Respiration can be considered the opposite of Photosynthesis. DNA Unwinding opposes DNA Replication. I thought of things like not talking while in a coma — and found out about typhoid fevers where the patients is unconscious but mutters constantly. Insect Metamorphosis can be reversed with injection of hormones. What about volcanic eruption? Lava does not have to flow back in but being specific can help again as there are magmatic and non-magmatic types of eruptions. Once again, at the scientific level, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Drop your suggestions for possible failures of this theory in the comment box. I’ll see if I can’t find something satisfactory. Or just tell me what you think.

Dreams, Reality, God


Had a dream last night that I interpreted as an indication that I will be rewarded in my quest for proving telekinesis is a reality. It implied it would just be a matter of time. The dream was about a teacher who punished student severely but when he found out it was me who had commited the crime of calling his name in the middle of the night, he pretended to take me to be punished but after taking me to his house I was pretty sure I would not be punished as severely as the others since he knew me better. I connected this with my TK quest since it was the only thing I was strongly involved in recently.

Of course this dream makes me wonder if dreams can predict the future. Will read up more of Jung’s Dreams — forgot I had it. I think dreams are what we believe subconsciously and may not be aware of consciously. If what we believe determines our reality, then dreams CAN predict the future. But then we run into the problem of why bad things happen. Either to a lot of people especially in the forms of accidents and natural disasters or to individuals. Negative events may involve bringing bad luck to 1 or a few individual(s)(e.g. person or family) or a large group. When large groups are involved there is no clear winner but at the individual level there may be. This may involve a person with strong spiritual energy wishing negative results upon another and the loser(s) not having as strong spiritual energy. So while we wonder why  disasters that kill a lot of people happen if God is loving let us not forget that death is a necessary part of life. Also, negative events are only considered disasters when they affect a large number of people. Large scale deaths may be part of the natural cycle of life but perhaps at a more individual level our beliefs affect reality and which individuals reality comes true may be based on some spiritual energy of the beings involved. It would be interesting to know if the birth rate and disaster death rate values have had a matching pattern.

This also has connections to my beliefs about duality and trinity in nature. My spiritual experiences led me to believe that God was one being who split into 2 parts: God and Not-God. But since God cannot be divided the 2 parts were added as separate parts of Reality rather than dividing God. So we have the original unchanging God(the neutral God-dreamsWatcher), the associated aspect(creation in reality) and un-associated not-God(destruction in reality): a trinity formed by God becoming a duality. I find analogies of this in nature: Life consists of 3 elements: creation, existence and death. Atoms consist of: protons, neutrons, electrons and interestingly the protons and neutrons are joined while the electrons are separate type of particle entirely. Protons and Neutrons also consists of 3 quarks each. Mind can be: remember, think, forget.  Energy manipulation in natural life is: photosynthesis, eating, decomposers. These seem to match on some level the creation, existence, death model.

Of course this is all pure speculation. I’m just curious to know what others think of these ideas. I’m sure flaws can be pointed out. Please do…I would like to work on them.

Obamacare crashed and burned…do we blame Obama?

I hear a lot on the web and even from strangers I meet on my walks about how Obama really screwed up Obamacare. And I don’t even live in a Western country. The failure to bring this project to its promised fruition seems to be the biggest stone on the President’s shoulders right now. It seems to have crashed and burned mostly from what I’ve read though the administration still seems to be trying to salvage something from the mess. I could be wrong on this as I haven’t really researched the topic; just going by what I’ve heard in the media and hearsay.

But will it do any good to blame Obama? The vitriol against the President seems to go as far as saying that he was lying and cheating the public in his claims about the status of Obamacare. I think the President honestly wanted to provide affordable care for the general public in a time of economic instability. But, most likely, it was also this instability that made others involved in the plan not willing to come aboard with full vigor. In particular, I suspect the insurance companies would have fought against this the hardest. And who can blame them? They have never been about providing affordable health obamacarecare but really about businesses making money off people’s fear of ill health. Also, the Republicans would not have been too willing to let the Democrats win a golden medal on any front. I am not saying the President didn’t make a mistake. His biggest one was probably not thinking ahead of the plans being offered to the public and of the opposition he would face to achieve his goal. He probably thought something along the lines of “Hey, I’m the president. Everyone will just go along with this.”

I still don’t think anyone should be crucified for this. If possible, things should go back to the way they were before the money for the plan was wasted. If not possible, that means the adminstration is still trying to push it through and it needs more time. America is already the world’s biggest debtor — a few more dollars on the pile won’t make too much difference. Like I said, I haven’t researched the full economic and social impact the plan has. But Americans should be proud they live in a country where blame CAN be assigned. The other option is to live with a government like Saudi Arabia where what the government says is final, religious police rule the streets and kill people in enforcing the laws and the people live in fear so you never hear about any unhappy folks of Saudi. Free speech is not always a right and politicians frequently make promises they can’t fulfill. Let Obama step down gracefully and let the next man take up the mantle. Just my 2 cents.

I am lazy

It is not easy to admit that you are lazy to yourself. Then, it is even harder to accept yourself if you admit this. Why am I lazy? Because I don’t like to work. I don’t mind doing simple chores like washing dishes, laundry, cutting veggies. But this is not hard work. When it comes to something that involves deadlines, quotas or maintenance however, I don’t like the stress it brings. In fact, when I did work I would become unconscious at the workplace or have seizures. According to my doctors and from my life experience, my seizures are triggered by stress. So, I guess I find working stressful. I have been lucky in that I can depend on my family to support me so that I don’t need to work. But now I am 36 years old and will be becoming a trust fund baby soon. However at the end of 2014 I took a long hard look at myself.being-lazy

At first, I told myself I didn’t work because I didn’t need to and would if I did need to. But after some time, I came to the realization that even if I needed to work I would rather be homeless and rather skip my epilepsy medication(since I couldn’t pay for it) than hold down a job. Many people dislike desk jobs these days. But I would even prefer to avoid the deadlines and quotas that come with a work-at-home freelance job as well. I think. Of course it is easy to claim you would prefer homelessness and sickness rather than work when you don’t have  to really worry about such things. I truly don’t know what I would do given the choice. But what is the point of worrying over hypothetical situations? That is just negative thinking.

My main current issue is seeing if I can accept myself since I have discovered this. I am finding this difficult. However, self-hate serves no positive purpose and since I am not willing to change my lack of will to work, I must learn to accept myself. That has become one of my resolutions for this New Year. Once I am able to do that, I think it will be easier to also accept that I don’t care what others think of my laziness. Just wanted to get this out there.

Do opposites really exist?

This is an interesting question that caught my fancy after reading some material while doing a Google search. I am sure many of us have heard the concept that some opposites are really only absences while others are specific. But does any real opposite truly exist? The dictionary has a simple definition of opposites as the reverse of something. What do they mean by reverse? For me, true opposites would be things that share no properties with each other. They would also have to be the reverse of each other by nullifying themselves when added to each other. I would say that in reality no such things exist but that opposites are a aspect of language.

For something to exist, it has to do so either in the material world(aspects or matter) and, perhaps, in the mind(abstract concepts). Men and women are not really opposites. They are matter in the material world but they do share many properties together.

Temperature is an aspect of the material world without being matter but while some say cold is simply an absence of heat and cold does nullify heat and vice versa, both are just subjective ways of looking at the aspect of temperature or perhaps energy.

What of positive and negative numbers? This is questionable. Numbers exist only as a concept in the mind and negative numbers less so. You can imagine a 2 foot stick but can you imagine a -2 foot stick? Of course the positive and negative numbers themselves do nullify each other and are imaginable which is why I say this is questionable.opposite

In the material world, so many things are called opposites but they share the same properties. What then, you may ask, prevents matter and antimatter from being opposites? I am less sure of this since I have little knowledge of science. The case for being opposites seems strong. Matter is made up of particles and antimatter is antiparticles. They also nullify each other. The only thing I can think of is that the particle and antiparticle share the same mass.

The ultimate problem is that I say true opposites must not share any properties but without at least one linking aspect how can it be correlated as the opposite of the other? This may simply be an issue of my idiotic way of defining what a true opposite is however. By that definition a rock and happiness could be opposites. However, those two don’t nullify each other. I would love to hear your ideas.